Epiphany of epiphanies: my little boy is growing up and someday he is going to be a man. This is nothing new, but an obvious reality of life; it goes on and we grow older.
About a month ago a sweet stranger chimed in via her car window. “Cherish every moment, they grow up so fast,” she said.
In the daily tirelessness of mothering, when the world is competing for my JOY, I forget how true the above statement is. With great sadness, I admit I have never fully accepted the reality that my children are, in fact, growing up right before my eyes.
That is, until last night.
While out for dinner, I looked across the table at my little man as he devoured his “hot dog samwich”. I found myself mesmerized by his total innocence. Dancing with his reflection in the window, he was completely content in his own little world. Right then, it hit me; someday he is going to be a man. I looked at my husband and burst into tears. “Our babies are gonna get big,” I cried, while in the middle of the restaurant. In that moment, it became painfully obvious that my babies aren’t babies, anymore.
I was immediately taken back to earlier in the day, upon picking him up at preschool when he exuberantly declared, “Izzy – Mommy. I miss-did you guys!” I had bent down and kissed him on the cheek. I recalled the tenderness of his face and the precise way my lips met his plump little cheek. I wondered if he would ever tire of his mommy’s expressions of love. Then I realized there may come a day when he no longer welcomes my kisses with such exuberance; someday he is going to be a man.
In my eyes, he is still the vulnerable little baby, whose heart was unequivocally marred, the day his daddy was taken from him. But, now I am encouraged to shift my focus toward the present, to view reality for what it is. Despite the painful circumstances that shrouded his early years, he is still a little boy who will someday become a man.
Someday, I will also be freed from the various stresses of motherhood as my babies fly away freely, on their own accord. Absorbing that reality makes the tears flow freely. I’m not ashamed to admit that I love these tiny humans more than life itself. I’ll, now do my best to cherish every moment, because I understand more than ever, they do, indeed, grow up so fast.